Hoy cumpliendo veinte

Ya cumplí 20 años en este mundo
¡EN QUÉ MOMENTO ME HICE ADULTA!?
Yo todavía siento que soy una nena, una nena de 13 años
que va a la escuela, hace la tarea y a dormir
Debe ser porque mi vida es mas o menos igual.
Sigo estudiando, sigo haciendo la tarea, y sigo durmiendo.
no sé si será
normal dormir tanto ¿lo es?

Veinte años en esta vida
momentos felices, los puedo contar con los dedos de una mano
momentos de tristeza, puedo estar horas escribiendo
momentos que no recuerdo: los últimos diez años.

no los recuerdo
mi vida fue pasando y pasando
mis momentos se fueron desvaneciendo en el tiempo
y en el olvido
no hice nada fuera de lo normal
nada memorable

Hoy
cumpliendo veinte años
observando otras vidas
metas cumplidas
kilómetros recorridos
amores correspondidos

no puedo hacer más que sentirme inexistente

Why do I want to live

Reality has me wanting nothing, my studies suffocate me, the pressure that I have to do everything on time and form surpasses me. I feel useless most of the time, I feel that I am a disappointment. There are bills to pay and little work. At least I no longer feel like a burden to my parents, but still.
I feel like I'm going to be stuck here all my life and that scares me too much.

These days I have to remind myself that I want to live. 
It's something that I forget very often.

 There are so many things I want to do, so many things that I want to know, and to learn, so many experiences that I need to live.
I have so many dreams that my heart starts to beat like crazy every time I think about them.
I want to travel so far that I want to forget everything and everyone at least for a moment. I want to feel that happiness of reaching a place where nobody knows me, and soaking in another language and another culture, meeting new people and then crying when I return home.
I want to be full of happy and sad stories, and I never want to lose this capacity and this privilege of being able to dream. 

Sometimes I concentrate too much on all the bad things that happen around me, and all over the world, and I am so sensitive that I cry without being able to stop, seeing so much injustice and so much pain, and that is when all my dreams totally lose their meaning.